Run, Dick, Run

How to solve sticky predicaments like:

• Uncle Larry has you cornered in the basement again and wants to show you his favorite scene in Wild Things.
• Mom won't let you get your belly button pierced even though you're mature for an 8th grader.
• All your friends want to see the new Freddy Kruger movie, but you're a pansy who still sleeps with a night light.
• Mr. Spradlin is totally unfair. How are you supposed to do 10 problems over the weekend?
• Your mom bought you a shirt from Salvation Army that used to be Ricky's and now everyone knows that you're poor.